Day 189: 2.5 hours of dance practice...

...makes it okay for me to have some rice pudding for dinner!!! Awooohoooo!!!

Coconut coma with chocolate brownie crumble! Yayyyy






-- 自分のiPhoneから発送する

Day 188: Hot and sweaty

...wearing clothes that don't quite fit right anymore... I wish I could afford to get all my clothes tailored, but there are too many to get adjusted and I can't pick which ones I want done first since I can't do all of them all at once. I'm being fair to my clothes by just not having any of them fixed. hahaha

So... safety pins it is!

Day 187: frozen yogurt-- dinner of champions...

...and lazy people who have taken two hours of dance class in the summer heat and just want to cool down!!






-- 自分のiPhoneから発送する

Day 186: finally a real day off

Today was the first day in a reeeally long while where I didn't have to be anywhere or do anything... So what did I do?








I really like to overdo things. I literally slept the day away! I was up at about 730 (incapable of sleeping in), awake for about an hour to talk to my sister a bit, then went and took a "nap" from about 845 to 230 (!!!!) after which I woke up, had something to eat, fell back asleep, and then woke up again at 8! Guess I was more exhausted than I thought.

I'm figuring I will now have more time to sleep after quitting my weekend job (I think the spirit of independence day really got to me!)... At least for a little while...

-- 自分のiPhoneから発送する

Day 185: because nothing says patriotism like pop 'ems

-- 自分のiPhoneから発送する

Day 184: thank goodness for friends and tiki torches

It was a loooong day at street fair work today. One that left me pissed off and annoyed by the end of the day and wishing I had just agreed to early termination.

Lucky for me though, I got to go home to Jeff and Rich and forget my frustrations by way of delicious Italian food and tiki torches at Zombie Hut. FYI tiki torches are shots of 151 topped with a lemon and brown sugar sprinkled on it. It's lit on fire with which you roast your marshmallows and when the fire is out, you eat the lemon, drink the shot and eat the marshmallows. So fancy!






Enough to forget the crappy day.. Except I gotta do it all again tomorrow! Gahhhh :(


-- 自分のiPhoneから発送する

Day 183: Brazil vs Netherlands

Loved that Rich and everyone was rooting for Brazil and Brandon was the only one for Netherlands at today's quarter finals match for the world cup who ended up winning and sending Brazil home.

Rich couldn't stay and watch the whole game because he had a meeting but he was there in spirit...

Day 182: Lovely Life I Thank You

Today was the first day of the second half of the year... That's right, folks! I am half done with my 2010 project! I am half done with the year! I feel it fitting to do a contemplative look back on the first six months of this year. Kind of like a half time recap! ...hrmm... wow, did I just use a sports analogy?? I'm a little impressed with myself. That's growth! :)

So...

To start, I failed on the stranger portion of my resolution...and by stranger portion, I don't mean it was the weirder portion (though I suppose it WAS the weirdest of my three basic rules)... If you still remember my initial entry, I had put forth the stipulations of this project. There were only three: (1) to take a picture every single day in which (2) I did a self portrait at least once every week and (3) I took a picture of a stranger once a week. If you've guessed that it was the third stipulation that I have glaringly failed at, then you would be correct. (Though that's not saying much for your guessing skills since it's pretty obvious I would have failed at that. Just sayin'.)

Anyway, yes, I stopped doing the taking-pictures-of-a-stranger thing. Mainly because... well, it's a little strange... Epic epic fail on my part. :(

HOWEVER.

I think it's safe to say that I have met a crap ton of people! I just never took their pictures for this project. And I don't think I would have had the courage to do so if it had not been for starting this. So yay for photoblogging! I think it's made me feel less shy and worrisome about stupid crap like not talking to people.

Anyway. Other stuff I've thought about:

I feel like I've come a long way since the year started. I don't think it's been easy, but so far, I am liking the person I think I am and whoever I may turn out to be in the future. I'm glad for the lessons I've learned, and there have been many! And all these little lessons life has given me so far has led me to this realization: After living most of my life wishing for one thing or the other so that it would make my life richer and happier, I finally am at that point where I kind of don't need anything. My life is far from perfect, but it's so good. It's filled with laughter and activity and wonder and love. It's vibrant and busy and unpredictable and exhausting and...amazing. And it's mine.

At the beginning of the year, I quoted Hemingway, saying that "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are stronger at the broken places." I entered the year with a broken heart and a broken spirit. I wondered when I would smile, eat, sleep, be the way I used to. I don't think I ever will. I can never go back to who I was without compromising who I am now and who I want to become. Nor would I want to. I'm not completely there yet, but if Hemingway was correct (and I suspect he is), I know that if the world has broken my heart and my spirit, it will be all the much stronger for it.

I still have a long way to go, but this road to joy isn't as overwhelming as it once seemed. I'm not afraid of going at it alone (though I find I have plenty of company along the way if I want or need it).




I think it's safe to say I've been kicking 2010's ass. And rocking. HARD.

I can't wait to see what the next half brings...

Day 181: chasing sunlight

Walked to sixth ave with Cheryl today coming from the MS Climb awards dinner on Park Ave and that's what it felt like: we were chasing the sun. :)







Much too tired to be so contemplative today... That's the problem with unleashing your inner tweenybopper: you're not actually that young anymore so sleep deprivation is seriously painful. :(

More tomorrow... And that's a promise... To... Ummm. Myself, I guess. And whoever is reading in my Internet void...:)

Until then...lots of love and sunshine!

-- 自分のiPhoneから発送する

Day 180: it's worth the sleep deprivation...

...to be in my cousin's kitchen at 230 laughing til our stomachs hurt about really random stuff...





I love my cousin Jenny. She's the only person I know who will not only be cool about me unleashing my inner tweenybopper, but will also do a little unleashing herself... As evidenced by the fact that we watched a midnight showing of Eclipse today with a bunch of squealing chilgren every time Jacob took his shirt off. (to be fair, I did marvel a little at his abs.. Don't judge me!!!! Grrrr)



-- 自分のiPhoneから発送する

Day 179: I hate goodbyes

Devin and Yuko leave tomorrow so we said our goodbyes tonight. Super sad face. :(

I find that I have a huge problem with separation. It's soooo easy for me to get used to having company around again but then I get seriously sad and have a hard time getting used to life after they've left. I have never stayed in one place for longer than three or four years since I left Guam in 2001, and all that time has always had me separated from people who are important to me. There is just no shortage of people for me to miss. You would think this has me desensitized and not at all sad every time I get to visit with loved ones only to have them leave. But you would think wrong. :(

Each time I say goodbye to someone I love makes me feel just as sad as if I had never done it the time before. I hate separation! hahah

I can't tell you how much more awesome life would be if I had all the people I loved most in the world all in one place. Friends, family... everyone! I sort of selfishly hate that people's dreams take them to far off places and away from me. But at the same time, I realize it is hypocritical of me to think so, since I've gone my own path as well...

Life is that way, I suppose. It takes you to different places and lets you cross paths with different people. Some are just there for scenery's sake; some are there simply to teach you lessons you need to learn at that point in time only to leave soon after; and still some others (if you're lucky) become a part of your life forever, no matter the time or the distance that passes...

I'm lucky enough to have a lot of people in my life that I think will be part of it forever... Devin and Yuko are two such awesome people. I talk a lot about how lucky I feel, and sometimes worry that it gets redundant, but I hope I never take for granted the joy I feel at how good life has been to me...

Now...if only I could see the people I love more often...

Day 178: how I've missed my girl

Yukorin. My girl.

Brief history: Rich had introduced Yuko to Devin in 2005 who then brought her into my life. I didn't hang out with her too much when Devin was in Nagano, but after he moved to China, the both of us had kept each other company because we missed D so much and have been great friends since.

I can't imagine what life would be like if Yuko and I hadn't become friends. I probably wouldn't be sitting here, in Rich's living room, typing this, listening with a smile in my face and the best feeling of love and contentment as some of my most favorite people in the world play "Don't Stop Believing."

I don't know if I know anyone as balls-out-determined, courageous, and passionate person as Yuko. The girl I met one night in Nagano over four years ago who spoke not one lick of English fell in love with our Devin and for him, she learned English, quit smoking cold turkey, moved to a different continent and basically did everything in her power to be with him. And she did it with grace and a lovely smile on her face...

She inspires me to believe that we can do anything we want, if we want it enough...

Loving that we get to spend some time together again, so far from where we had met, after so many years...



Told you I surround myself with awesome people... How lucky am I!!!

love love love


-- 自分のiPhoneから発送する

Day 177: Reunited and it feels so good!!

It's been almost five years since I graduated from college and moved to Japan to teach English for three years; five years since my life took such a drastic turn; five years since I first met my boys.

Rich, Brandon, and Devin, who, in such a short amount of time have become such an important part of my life and helped shaped the person I've become (they like to brag that they've trained me well... which... may kind of be true).

That first year we all spent in Japan together seems to have had a huge impact on all our lives. That was the year Rich and Brandon pretty much figured out they would be BFFs (heehee); that was the start of my world expanding; and that was the year Devin met his wife Yuko who would eventually end up being one of my best friends. It was an awesome year...

We only had that one year all together, since Devin moved to China after his year was up, and though I've seen everyone several times over the past few years, it's never been at the same time. Until today.



I can't even explain the joy I felt to be in that room today with so many of my favorite people in the room. And to be able to sing the songs we used to sing and to have that many of my karaoke partners gathered together in one place (between Luca, Devin, AND Yuko... it was like... heaven is an all you can sing karaoke marathon with all awesome people!) and to hear songs I hadn't heard in such a long time... My head could have exploded from sheer contentment at that point in time.

The awesomeness in that room and in my life never ceases to amaze me.

love love love.

Day 176: Procrastination at its best

So... Devin and Yuko are staying with me on Sunday and I am SUPPOSED to be cleaning, but instead have spent most of the night just putting off tidying up my room. First I had dinner, then I watched some So You Think You Can Dance, and then, just as I was going to start putting away laundry, I started practicing the ukulele. I get sidetracked easily. (note the mess of laundry in the back)



I bought the ukulele on craigslist sometime in September last year when I was having a really hard time dealing with all the free time I seemed to have on my hands (I know, such a shocker to think that I had free time, right??!) and I had decided to try and learn to play. The first song I had tried to learn was of course "Drop Baby Drop," to which Stad had started trying to teach me to play one time at a party. The goal was to be able to play it within the year... but then my heart got that ass kicking that I've talked about a few times, and I couldn't even bare to pick the darn thing up. It stayed in its box for the most part for several months, and it wasn't until maybe a month ago after months of listening to 311 songs that I decided I would try my hand at it again. I refuse to go back to try and learn "Drop Baby Drop" all over again, but I kind of want to learn some 311 songs and other random stuff that will be fairly easy to play. I know how to play "Sea of Love" (Cat Power style) and when I took the picture, I was practicing my standard fare, which is "Sway" by Bic Runga. A LOT easier to play on the uke than the guitar!!! My hands can deal with four strings!

Now, if only I could master strumming....

I don't have a lot of time for it yet, but I'm very slowly making progress. :)

...and I should probably stop practicing so I can clean my room!!!

Day 175: easy to look at...

A little bit hard on the eardrums though...






-- 自分のiPhoneから発送する

Day 174: "When I'm Just Trying to Kill Time, I Got My Headphones..."

Riding to work with Rich and Brandon pretty much everyday means I'm going to be listening to a lot of their stuff... Well...since Brandon is almost always in control of the music selection (as is the responsibility of those who ride shotgun..the backseat rider gets to nap...), I usually get a good dose of 311. Not that there is anything at all wrong with that. I've gotten to know their entire discography fairly well and can say with certainty that my favorite albums are "Uplifter" (because it's so pretty) and "Don't Tread On Me" (because it's awesome and harkens me back to Japan days). Brandon argues that we listen to 311 a lot because they're one of the only bands that is so agreeable in our car. We all like it, no one wants to skip, and everyone always feels good...

But some weeks ago, Rich pointed out that listening to other stuff might be fun too, so Brandon started switching it up and we ended up listening to a mix of stuff. The Swellers (Brandon grew up with the guitarist and now they're signed and we went to a concert of theirs with Less Than Jake and it was super awesome), Jape, Cage the Elephant, Bob Marley, some stuff from the Surf's Up soundtrack and a bunch of songs by The Dirty Heads.

The Dirty Heads, I found, are quite enjoyable. Same kind of vibe as Sublime and 311 and Pepper and stuff. Their songs came up so often in our car rides that I ended up downloading their whole album and, as I am prone to do, have had the album playing on my iPod on repeat, basically. This means that lately, everything can be referenced to a Dirty Heads song. There was yesterday's post title, which was from "Knows That I" and now today's. Taken from "Headphones." Maybe I should just do a Dirty Heads themed week or something. But hrmm, I think that kind of thing cannot be planned.




This was just me kind of chilling on the train, half awake, half asleep, just waiting to get to Penn Station so I could make it to dance class on time.

So for now, The Dirty Heads, much like 311, have been what gets me through the work day, follows me home, and keeps me company all throughout my fairly packed schedule with a chipper attitude. :)

Wonder what the next album will be...

Day 173: "Like a welcome summer rain, comes with perfect timing..."

Rained on my way home from dance class today and I got SOAKED.

funnily enough, it felt nice to cool down and walk home in the pouring rain. Everyone else was running and hovering under umbrellas but it's just water! I found it hard not to enjoy it. It makes the streets glisten... :)






-- 自分のiPhoneから発送する

Sidebar: I think I have issues with sleep

I'm not sure if it's because I work seven days a week, take three dance classes, sometimes play softball, and try to have some semblance of a social life in between while still trying to find time to read books that I borrowed from the library... but for the life of me, I don't seem to be capable of sleeping properly. If my head can hit the pillow, it doesn't stay there for as long as I hope it would (as evidenced by my inability to sleep past 9 a.m. on my first day off in 19 days this past Saturday). And now...well, I should have been asleep a few hours ago and yet, here I am, awake. And fairly lucid, if I might add. As much as I miss sleep and crave for it, I can't seem to actually have any. :(

...So I spent a majority of my weekend with Brandon's family and it finally hit me: I always used to marvel at how it was possible that I was surrounded by such awesome friends...and I find that it is totally because their parents are insanely amazing! I've had the pleasure of first meeting Rich's parents (and subsequently working with his family), then Devin's parents, and now Brandon's and I can say with absolute certainty that they are some of the coolest people I've ever met. Warm and inviting, incredibly chill, and seriously fascinating and funny.

I got to spend most of my Saturday afternoon with Brandon's mom, shopping since I figured Brandon would want to skip that and I had a great time just chilling and walking around. I think I may have inadvertently killed her feet though. :( But she was a great sport and so much fun to hang out with.

Spending that much time around a close knit family who also extended their circle for me (and for Jeff, who was also visiting) and getting to see their dynamic together totally made me think of my family. While there are much more of us in my family, which makes for a pretty chaotic time, the love in their family feels pretty similar to the kind my family shares too. It makes me miss my parents. And my brother and sister. And their families...

It's weird how families can get separated so easily. Brandon probably hasn't lived with his folks since he was 18 and has been around the world ever since. I think he can count on one hand the amount of Christmases he's spent at home since then... I haven't shared a house for more than a few months with my parents since I left for NYU when I was 17. My sister and her family's whereabouts are dictated by the Army so she's been away almost as long as I have... We've scattered everywhere and it's so difficult to all get together any time we want. But just as I see with Brandon and his family, I know that when it happens, no matter for how long, it's still an amazing time, even in its relatively quiet moments. I loved the fuzzy feeling I got hanging with Brandon's family in the park.

I can't wait til it's my turn...

...and there's my random ramblings at 3 in the morning!!! Gahhhh this is sooo gonna hurt in a few hours. :(

Day 172: I want new sneakers!!!

So I was waiting for dance class to start at 8, and stopped by a sneaker shop to try on these sneakers I've been eyeing since last week. I really should have just bought them last week because now the only pair they have is a half size too small. I could special order them but that pair will be a half size too big I think. I'm looking for a 6.5 and the smallest size the internet offers is a 7. Though a 7 isn't all that bad either. I just wanted the 6.5 so my feet wouldn't look so huge... I know Brandon wants to buy this pair too, so should I just wait until I find another pair I like? That could take YEARS, since I have not bought a pair of DCs since 2006 (I never found any I liked more than the ones I already had)...



How come boys get all the cool shoes!!!!

Day 171: I take my own advice... Sometimes.

I wanted to do a fathers day themed one for today, but didn't take any related pictures. I was a little too hung over to do so and didn't get to meet up with Brandon's family to give his dad a fathers day hug and take his picture so I think I'll make that a sidebar...

So... All that drinking with Erik and Jeff last night resulted in my stomach feeling a little bit like death today. Thank goodness for sprite and crackers...



-- 自分のiPhoneから発送する