And now, I'm going to be 27... and 30 is fast approaching! Wow!
I feel like my 26th year was one that was filled with sooo many more lessons than the ones I learned in my 25th year. Is that what life will be like from now on? I'll just keep learning more and more as the years go by?? Or is it that my circumstances led me to the kind of wisdom and lessons that I stumbled upon along the way? Hrm. Not sure...
Since there are actually two or three of you out there in the internet void reading this (that I actually know of...how come no one ever says hi?? lol), I thought I would post up something I wrote last year....I find it interesting how quickly this year has passed and that I can look back on last year's birthday blog post written in some other part of the internet no one on here probably knows about....
Here it is:
I've gone and hit the beginning of my late 20s.
Current mood:contemplativeI'm another year older... It makes me a little sad to realize that by society's definitions, I am definitely a "woman" now. I mean, I've been a woman for a long time, I guess, but I've always felt like still just a girl ("...not yet a woooomannnnn..." that song always comes to mind when I say that phrase) and so have been denying my title of "woman." But now that I'm 26... well, it's harder to deny womanhood no matter how young I feel (or look! My manicurist on Tuesday thought I was like, 18!!! Wooooooooot). Welcome to old age, Joyce. hahaha
...Because of busy work and school schedules for people, instead of being out drinking or partying or whatever to celebrate my birthday like a "normal" person, I spent my birthday with just myself doing random things like buying a new pair of shoes and getting a massage... My low key birthday was actually quite nice... For once, I had some quiet time... Nice, quiet time to just enjoy life as it comes...
As testament to the true nerd/lame-o that I am, I found myself wanting to write on this thing because there is so much on my mind and I have nowhere to put it and no one in particular I want to tell...
It's crazy how much has happened in the past year... I feel like I want to list all the things I learned in the past year... I guess for the sake of posterity... and maybe to remind myself next year of the person I am today, since I definitely am not the same as I was a year ago... so here goes...
This past year I learned the following (in no particular order):
1) Never to settle for anything less than what I really want (because the alternative will never satisfy, and only screw me even more). I find this is true for just about everything, even with something as minute as settling for a salad when I really just wanted french fries.
2) To put myself out there more in terms of trying new things. This year, I climbed 66 flights of stairs (in one go!), tried paintball for the first time, went to pin up school, tried internet dating, and struck up conversations with more than a few strangers. It was scary to think of doing things by myself where I don't know anyone but ended up being more fun than I expected and less awkward than I'd anticipated.
3) At some point, I have to stop caring about what people think and allow myself to follow my heart.
4) True joy can eventually lead to true pain...and while it can be hard to think so sometimes, the joy is worth the pain...though it is not without consequences.
5) My capacity to love, to care, to forgive, to understand, and to feel is far greater than I ever thought.
6) The true measure of my own self awareness and strength is more than I realized.
7) I am actually capable of being the person I always wanted to be: loving, compassionate, and understanding. How I have always seen myself is not how others see me, and I need to believe in myself and give myself more credit than I do.
8) My sister is way more awesome than I even gave her credit for... and I already thought she was super awesome to begin with.
9) Life doesn't stop even when you want it to.
10) I really don't bullshit as much as I thought I did. When serious, I mean every single word I say.
11) Once again, life is too short...Especially to spend on anger and spite.
12) Being fearless in love (and life in general) can be amazing, but being careful and taking things more slowly does have its advantages... The heart is resilient, but it has its limits.
13) Country music is not half as bad as most haters make it out to be... it can be great companions if you let it.
14) Six Alrumpapumpums in two hours is not the best idea.
15) Hair DOES grow back.
16) No matter what happens in life, one is never completely at fault and one is never completely blameless. We all play our part. It's easy to forget that when we are hurt or angry. Trying to see the perspective of others in situations can be difficult, but it's only fair to try.
17) Kids can be the greatest source of comfort without them ever realizing it.
18) Each person you meet in life, whether they stay in your life or not, will change you; sometimes in ways you never thought possible.
19) I cannot dance even with a the use of a manual. Fun to try though. Especially the ass shake.
20) I am truly blessed and I need to remember that always.
I'm sure there are more lessons I've learned... but these are just the ones that come to mind. I wish I could say I had all the answers... but I think I have more questions than answers. I sometimes feel as lost (or even more so) as I did a year or two or even ten years ago... but I know I've grown and I've changed... for the better, I think... I learned a lot, and I feel...almost accomplished.
So...here's to another year of learning, laughing, crying, loving, dancing, singing, living, and growing.
After reading it...well...I'm really proud of the year I had!!! I put those lessons to such good use! And I am all the better for it! It's been a long (yet short, time is weird that way) and crazy year, and though it had it's rough patches, I got through 26 just fine... Actually...better than fine! I got through it pretty awesomely and I honestly don't feel like I would ever have wanted to change a thing!
Here's to twenty six! It was amazing, filled with adventure, sadness, joy, laughter, stress, anger, love...all the chaos that makes up a life!
I had a pineapple coated in green chocolate and toasted coconut to celebrate. lol My tummy was not happy afterwards. LOL
Let's go, 27!!! 14 minutes to go and I start the next blog post... yup! Overachieving today! (Mostly because I probably won't do it at the end of my birthday) Until then, I guess I should fix my face for self portrait. Hopefully 27 looks better than 26. lol