Lent usually means giving something up. Like, junk food, cursing, rice, bread, stuff like that... I used to do that, but have decided this year that 1) I can't give up any more food than I already have, and 2) if I gave up cursing, I would probably be more violent at work or life in general. I COULD always follow in my friend Casey's footsteps and give up smoking as a preventative measure... hahah
Actually, I started the practice of giving BACK instead of giving something UP. Basically, I volunteered for a whole bunch of charities like the MS Climb, and the blood drive and writing to inmates and the elderly and stuff... It's nice.
I've also decided to give up my tendency to be afraid of silly things. Like worrying about what other people think. I mean, it's one thing to care about what your friends and family think of you, and quite another to worry about what complete strangers think of you. Take for example when the hot firemen come to visit the office for fire safety stuff... I NEVER look any of them in the eye, because it makes me nervous. And though I'm trying to rectify it, I generally don't talk to strangers because what if they don't want to talk to me? And calling people (especially boys) makes me soooo nervous because I worry I may be catching them at a bad time... when you think about it, WHO THE HELL CARES??? They're silly fears and it is time to start letting myself be who I want, when I want, where I want. It's like, suddenly, I don't understand why I used to be so afraid of being rejected. I've been rejected in what I perceived as the worst way possible, and guess what: I'M STILL ALIVE.
I told this to my manager today at work. And he said, "you sound like a woman empowered." and you know what? I AM. I'm so empowered, I'm shaking my fists and pointing to the sky. I don't really know what that has to do with being empowered, but it feels empowering.
I saw the stop sign on the corner today, and on top of it, the one way sign... It made me think that life only goes one way: forward. It's time to stop and think about how I choose to traverse that road...
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