Day 185: lonely 4th

It's crazy to think that a year has already passed when I still remember last 4th of July like it just happened. I quit my street fair job, met up with Rich, Jen, Sean, Jeremy, Vanessa and Jeff for a 4th of July barbecue and later, after much trepidation (on Jeff's part, lol) and getting through most of Shallow Hal (for him, again, since I was half asleep and more lazily amused watching Jeff himself through half closed eyes), he finally took my hand.

It was a pretty quiet moment; music didn't swell when it happened or anything...(**edit: just to clarify...it was quiet in how it happened in reality...but was, in retrospect and in my head, a huge life altering moment as my heart fluttered in the moment that he took my hand) And though I'm guessing his fears ended when i let him take my hand in his, mine had just begun. Lol

So silly now to think I was scared of getting in too deep with him and of letting go and worrying that I wasn't ready for a relationship. And funny to think about how much time and effort it took on his part to break down the walls I had wanted to put up...

That was the night I started to really let him in...and then he never left. :)

It's a year later and we're still apart while we wait out his last few months in afghanistan... And my hand misses his holding mine!






...but at least I know we'll have next year and the rest of our lives to hold each other's hand. :)

Yay! Lol

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