Day 182: Lovely Life I Thank You

Today was the first day of the second half of the year... That's right, folks! I am half done with my 2010 project! I am half done with the year! I feel it fitting to do a contemplative look back on the first six months of this year. Kind of like a half time recap! ...hrmm... wow, did I just use a sports analogy?? I'm a little impressed with myself. That's growth! :)

So...

To start, I failed on the stranger portion of my resolution...and by stranger portion, I don't mean it was the weirder portion (though I suppose it WAS the weirdest of my three basic rules)... If you still remember my initial entry, I had put forth the stipulations of this project. There were only three: (1) to take a picture every single day in which (2) I did a self portrait at least once every week and (3) I took a picture of a stranger once a week. If you've guessed that it was the third stipulation that I have glaringly failed at, then you would be correct. (Though that's not saying much for your guessing skills since it's pretty obvious I would have failed at that. Just sayin'.)

Anyway, yes, I stopped doing the taking-pictures-of-a-stranger thing. Mainly because... well, it's a little strange... Epic epic fail on my part. :(

HOWEVER.

I think it's safe to say that I have met a crap ton of people! I just never took their pictures for this project. And I don't think I would have had the courage to do so if it had not been for starting this. So yay for photoblogging! I think it's made me feel less shy and worrisome about stupid crap like not talking to people.

Anyway. Other stuff I've thought about:

I feel like I've come a long way since the year started. I don't think it's been easy, but so far, I am liking the person I think I am and whoever I may turn out to be in the future. I'm glad for the lessons I've learned, and there have been many! And all these little lessons life has given me so far has led me to this realization: After living most of my life wishing for one thing or the other so that it would make my life richer and happier, I finally am at that point where I kind of don't need anything. My life is far from perfect, but it's so good. It's filled with laughter and activity and wonder and love. It's vibrant and busy and unpredictable and exhausting and...amazing. And it's mine.

At the beginning of the year, I quoted Hemingway, saying that "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are stronger at the broken places." I entered the year with a broken heart and a broken spirit. I wondered when I would smile, eat, sleep, be the way I used to. I don't think I ever will. I can never go back to who I was without compromising who I am now and who I want to become. Nor would I want to. I'm not completely there yet, but if Hemingway was correct (and I suspect he is), I know that if the world has broken my heart and my spirit, it will be all the much stronger for it.

I still have a long way to go, but this road to joy isn't as overwhelming as it once seemed. I'm not afraid of going at it alone (though I find I have plenty of company along the way if I want or need it).




I think it's safe to say I've been kicking 2010's ass. And rocking. HARD.

I can't wait to see what the next half brings...